Kitty calls

Five years ago I met a girl from Hong Kong. In fourteen days I'll be there with her.

Like a homo-oreo

Each time I announced my Friday night plans I received the same stare. "Black lesbians? They have they're own parties?" people said to me. Of course, I said. This is Toronto, everyone has their own party.

And the party was good, booty dancing, fake orgasms, and all. Read about here, as part of NewsFix's Pride coverage.

Boys wanna be her, girls wanna be her

Peaches rarely lets a crowd down. Her followers (mostly lesbians and indie-kid left-overs) always know what to expect. And at the Phenoix last night, she delivered. The incessant gender bending costume changes, the light up vagina, the gyrating hips. Everything.

Backed by Iggy Pop and Kim Gordon look-alikes, Peaches gave her brand of power-quick performance and pretty-meets-pain that has turned her into a readily remixed festival circuit hit. She played with lasers, stormed the second floor balcony, and swan dove off the stage into the sweaty, eager crowd. The usual.

The crowd shook their dicks, shook their tits, screamed along the lyrics. We danced with stupid smiles on our faces. More, more, more, until it was over. By then our legs were soar, our stomaches ached, and we felt the need for an after-sex style cigarette.

That feeling, that, is the Teaches of Peaches.

Six inches from perfection

I'll admit it, I'm a Subway guy. The resident sandwich-artist at the Subway across the street from my office knows my sandwhich and my schedule (if I come in on a Saturday, he'll comment). But this morning I came across a steamy foot-long short from Quizno's, and I couldn't help but re-post.

The first nine seconds of this video are a marketer's dream. The video is branded content, likely created by an in-house Playboy team to advertise Quizno's. There are tits, ass, and solid-coloured bikini's; all the Playboy staples. Then comes the product placement: girl number two enters with a matching bathing-suit-and-take-out Quizno's red combo.

Next, is the text. Finally, you get it. It's a pop-culture reference to that video everyone thought was gross, but watched twice, and then forwarded to all of their friends. It's a clever invasion of the social media space, and it's sure to spread across the blogosphere (a quick Google reveals it is already getting web-ink), but will it entice sub-eaters?

The video is funny, but the implications are less than appetizing. Associating a food brand with a poop-tease, and what we collectively agree was the grossest internet video of 2007? Yuck.

I'll take my toasted double d's at Subway, please. More cheese, less poop culture.

Update: According to AdAge (and a tip-off from Corey Allen) Quizno's had nothing to do with the production of this video, nor did it pay for it. Guess Playboy is shitting on Quizno's marketing plans on its own accord. Solid criticism by Allen, in the comments.

How I learned to stop worrying and sing along to Katy Perry songs.

Last week there was a 40 minute display of the human body at the Royal Ontario Museum. Inside the crystal fantasy was a display much more bold and daring than the architecture.

It was a display of human flesh. Naked female bodies, gyrating against each other: Pornographic and insulting. Crude... but sensual. Erotica at its finest. Finally, the ROM has gone in a bold new direction. These are the things the critics might have said, had they seen the display.

The two girls met at the Museum's entrance. With anticipation running down their backs, they hunted for the best place. In these situations, there is always somewhere to go. These things happen, even if we don't see them.

The staff at the Museum saw the girls, but they did not see the performance. The young, warm bodies were the building's best kept secret that night. Even the climax went unseen.

Unseen, but not unappreciated. The singular review is in, and it's good. She says there will be another date.