M.I.A. saves viewers from pre-award show boredom.

A blond with a vaseline smile conks her head and points a microphone at a very pregnant Mathangi Arulpragasam. “Finish this sentence for me!” she says with sing-song dripping from her lips. “All I wanna do is….”

Mrs, Arulpragasam looks at her with Bitch Please all over her face. “Stop the genocide in Sri Lanka,” she says.

She pets her bursting, sequin-covered belly and announces that she is prepared to go into labour at any moment. Nearby there is a go-cart to take her to a parked helicopter, which will then fly her to her home, where she will have a home-birth in the pool. That is, if she goes into labour.

If M.I.A. stopped showing up to award shows, we’d be stuck listening to Miley Cyrus talk about her K-Mart jewelry.

Thanks M.I.A., we owe you one.