Saturday, March 07, 2009

Breaking her achy-breaky Hollywood-Heart.

These days the only thing less appetizing than being Miley Cyrus' publicist is working in the PR department at Maple Leaf Foods. Is there any way to save a formerly wholesome product that's been repeatedly spoiled rotten?

All Disney scarlets love attention, controversy and the occasional "beef", but Miley's latest super-arch-nemesis-forever is possibly her most un-likely to date. Since the Grammy's, Miss Hannah Montana has developed a problem with Thom Yorke and his passive-posse of ultra-quiet rockstars.
According to the southern-belle-gone-megastar, Radiohead turned down a request made by her manager r to set up a quick meet-and-greet.

The band responded, saying they simply don't do that sort-of thing. Insulted and embarrassed (she had already text-messaged all her BBFs saying she was about to meet the only band she would ever "cry over"), Miley decided to "tell everyone" in an attempt to "ruin" Radiohead.

But Mr. Yorke isn't the first to be picked on by big bully Miley. Here's a rundown of her former foes:

First there was the YouTube feud between her and the pint-sized Selena Gomez, where Miley decided the whole internet had to know what the deal with Nick Jonas was. Then there was the time she turned down Katy Perry's offers of a kiss, and instead claimed Perry was jealous of her success.

And of course the time she claimed Vanity Fair and Annie Leibovitz had set her up and embarrassed her, with a series of now-famous partial-nudes; photos that the New York Times reported Miley and her family had both seen and approved prior to publication.

Those photos were followed by an even race-ier snapshot of her and her friends making fun of Asian squinty-eyes. She claimed the photos were of a "goofy face" and in no way racist, but that didn't stop an Asian woman in LA from slapping Miley with a $4 billion dollar class-action lawsuite, representing the state's Asian-Pacific-Islander population (who are apparently, very pissed off).

Now, Miley seems to be running out of potential victims. After taking on another teen star, then moving onto attacking the media at large (for making her into a "bad girl") and following it up with an assault on an entire ethnicity, there aren't a lot of people left to hate.

So Thom, I guess you kind-of had it coming. But still, my heat goes out to you.

3 comments:

wcwager said...

didn't your mother ever tell you to pick on someone your own size Russ, lol.

Kasandra Bracken said...

haha, "scarlet."

I was listening to the Miley radio clip last night. I hope barfs in close proximity to her very soon. Preferably Thom - on her.

Anonymous said...

is this really what university kids write about these days?