A Brit’s guide to Twitter

To tweet or not to tweet is not the question. It’s how we tweet, why we tweet, and who we tweet to that’s causing all the fuss.   Mayor Miller uses the service to talk to Torontonians,   Lisa Tant tweets about shoes and photo shoots, and   Douglas Coupland describes the dangers of Diet Coke, all in 140 characters, or less.

American Twitter-users however, aren’t as quite as tactful as conservative Canadian tweeters. Landlords in the states are suing   tweeting-tenants, Lindsay Lohan is posting   topless Tweet-Pics, and   Courtney Love is loosing the little grip she had on reality, tweet-by-tweet. 

Lucky for the Americans, the Brits are able to suggest the best practice of practically everything, Twitter included. On Tuesday, the British government announced it will allow civil servants to tweet, but only under new guidelines.

Some top picks from the 20-page how-to include:

Tweets should be “human and credible”

(Like those from  Ashton Kutcher, king of credibility)

Tweets must be written in “informal spoken English”

(See slurring sweetheart  Courtney Love)

Produce between two and 10 tweets a day, with minimal 30 minute gaps in between

(Unless your followers want updates on your every move, like   Lauren’s)

Tweeting, reading, and replying should take up no more than one hour per day

(Dine.To editor  Marie Nicola must spend twice this daily on Twitter)

While the rules are intended for the more media-friendly ministers who choose to tech-talk, it’s time someone outlines the necessary etiquette for Twitter. The mainstream media’s love affair with Twitter has been going on so long even your illiterate uncle Allen knows about the site. But because most of its users are too self absorbed to be outwardly reflective, it took the British bigwigs (who enjoy projecting their self absorption onto others) to develop a guideline.

Now that the world’s biggest bureaucrats have joined the Twitteratti it is only a matter of time before the early adapters will start jumping ship. Until then, or until Apple introduce some sort of smart-mini-micro-blogging-touch-deck service, please follow the Brits' lead, tweeters.