The Night of the Living Ex.

By some cosmic turn of events, nearly everyone I spoke to on Saturday was planning on hanging out with their ex. One former couple was having a movie night, another was heading to a bar and I, being the mighty soldier that I am, was braving the "don't go" ex-territory of the dance club.

The word ex brings to mind terrible connotations. Screaming matches, awkward run-ins on the street, divided mutual friends and that last drunken text message you probably shouldn't have sent. Luckily, the relationship I was re-visiting on friendlier terms was a good one, and the break was clean. That said, there are a few things everyone should remember if they are going to plan an encounter with somebody they used to regularly swap spit with.

Bring backup- You don't want to do this alone. Luckily, I have good friends and one of my buddies offered to come along. Fitting the evening's theme, he brought his ex too, for good measure. This sounds awkward, but it wasn't, and I was just happy not to be alone. 

Prepare an excuse- If shit hits the fan, you'll want to leave early. Be creative and keep in mind that this person spent a considerable amount of time with you, and knows when you're lying. If all else fails, man up and tell them honestly, "I'd like to go home now." After all, you're no longer under a social contract that requires you to stay. 

Drink up- Alcohol likely caused problems while you were together. Think drunk dialing, bad decisions and erectile difficulties. Luckily, this time the sauce is on your side. After one drink, that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach will go away. After a few more you'll be telling nearby strangers "funny" stories about your ex. Soon you will be the life of the party. Everyone loves a joke. 

Avoid the ex-sex- You know this is never a good idea. Unless it was good. Really good...